Thursday, June 24, 2010

Nate is 4!

In the last four years, I have spent a lot of time stripping away layers and layers of learned behavior, thoughts, and feelings. And what did I find? I've found me, a little girl, Nate's age. I found myself before I was fully taken over by life. It is so funny to me that I am spending so much time teaching Nate how to function in this world while knowing that he has it all right now. He is his authentic self. Everything that he learns from here on out is only to help him function in our man-made systems that support more complex systems. He'll learn to go to school, work, take vacation, drive a car, follow the rules, break the rules, read, write, but what he carries in himself now is what he'll need to find again some day.

When Nate was screaming so loudly I was left standing there dumbfounded and irritated by the noise. West, the baby, crawled full speed ahead towards Nate and lay his head on his lap. Instead of wanting Nate to stop screaming, West didn't think or want, he loved. I saw this and followed West's lead. Nate, West, and I all hugged and Nate was calmed almost instantly.

I am so grateful for the growth that having Nate has forced me into. I am so thankful that I have embraced this opportunity with the support of Zack and the rest of my family, the Attachment Parenting community, Bay Area Homebirth community, Hokhmah Joy-Allen's women circles, and Lydia. I am forever changed. Thank you Nate and Happy Birthday!

2 Comments:

UrbanCrunchyMama said...

With the mindfulness you bring to your parenting and to the world, Nate will eventually have much less to strip away. With you as his mother, he is already gifted with the compassion and spaciousness to be his authentic self. :-)

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